Faded Memories

I dreamt about you last night
first time in 6 years but it felt like yesterday
A spring afternoon with the sun on our faces
the first time I said I love you

You pulled me up from the depths of hell
and locked up all the demons
You made the bad dreams go away and
for the first time taught me to live

You had my heart the first time I saw you
you sauntered in and made yourself at home
you put a smile on my face
whenever you walked into a room

Your smile burned so bright, it was enough
to make me weak in the knees
Your love was even stronger but
it was your humanity that made you perfect

I dreamt about you last night
first time in 6 years but it felt like yesterday
You’re gone now but that’s okay for
the lessons you taught me are still here
and because of that I still love me

A million faces

You’re the face of the angry parent, cutting me down with your words. 
The face of the bullies waiting in the school yard to share their insecurities with me.

You’re the face of the neighbor, the best friend, the preacher, the teacher, the face of the men who raped me.

You’re the face of the police officer, the judge, the politician. Those who would rather blame the victim than deal with violence so many of us face on a daily basis.

You’re the face of the vanishing lover and the absentee father, your the face in the bathroom mirror that I can’t wipe away.

You’re the faces that I carry with me everyday. You remind me that I’m still here, that you did not break me. The face that I wear may be cracked and worn but it is one of dignity, strength and defiance.

The face is me

7th Generation pt 7

When Fred emerged from the alleyway his demeanour was not of a stone cold killer but someone just out for a stroll. This observation made Diabo very nervous. Diabo spoke over the radio, “Suspect as been spotted, move in”. He and Dawes got out of the car, and along with 4 other officers, weapons drawn, moved in on the restaurant. “Freeze! Fred you’re under arrest!” But Fred had other ideas, in a blur he leapt onto two the officers, throwing one through the restaurant window and knocking the other out cold with the butt of his own firearm. He then bolted back down the alley with Diabo, Dawes and the other two officers in pursuit. Fred ducked into the basement of an abandoned building as Diabo and the others charged after him. He fired off a few shots with the stolen weapon slowing down his pursuers before disappearing into the building. ‘He’s fast’, Diabo thought as he ran, ‘almost too fast’. The building was old and decrepit, a perfect place for someone to hide. Diabo motioned to the other officers to go around and cover the front.

“Shots fired!” Diabo yelled over his radio. “I have two officers down, suspect has been seen entering an abandoned building on east Pender, we are in pursuit.”The voice on the radio crackled “Back up is on the way.” “Did you see how quickly he took down Johnson and Stephens?!” Exclaimed an excited Dawes. “This is our guy, no doubt about it. Should we wait for back up or go in? What do you think?” The look on Dawes face said it all. Diabo spoke into the radio, “Dispatch, we are going in.” As he and Dawes entered the building, a sense of foreboding came over him. This was new to him, he couldn’t escape the feeling that Fred was too much for the two for them to handle. The way he took out two of his officers with such ease left Diabo with a sense of dread. He felt that Fred was up there waiting for him. Floor by floor they searched but all the found was human waste and rats. The eerie silence was unnerving like no one had been in the place in years. By the time they reached the 6th floor, they started searching apartments one after the other. 606 was the last apartment on that floor, gently they opened the door. Like all the rest, the place was vacant. Diabo would have moved on but something caught his eye. A light under a closet door.

They cautiously entered the apartment. There was an old mattress on the floor but not much else. The two men slowly approached the doors with the light under it. The doors themselves were sliding ones. They each took a door and slid them apart. What they saw on the other side made everything worse. Drivers licences, the interior wall was littered with them. Diabo recognized the 7 from his case files but there were at least two dozen more nailed to the wall. “Jesus Christ!” Was all that Dawes could say. “Call it in, we need everyone on deck for this.” “Right away” responded Dawes, as he turned away to make the call. That’s when Diabo heard it, a thud, like a body hitting the floor. Diabo whipped around only to see Dawes on the floor unconscious with Fred standing over him, his eyes glowing red. ‘What the fuck’, he thought as he drew his weapon. But Fred was too fast, he knocked the weapon out Diabo’s hand and grabbed him by the throat. Hoisting him up like he was a rag doll. “You’re never going to stop, are you?’ said Fred, ‘You cannot stop me, his power is eternal and his revenge, never ending.” “What the fuck are you?” Said Diabo as struggled to breath. “I am a means to an end, one that unfortunately you are never going to see.” He then hurtled Diabo through the sixth floor window.

7th generation pt 6

Here is the next part of 7th Generation.
 
The following evening Diabo sat in a parked cruiser with Sgt Dawes waiting for Fred to come in to view. It had been decided that they’d wait until he had gotten his food before trying to apprehend him. “He’s suspected of killing how many?” “7 and those are the ones we know of.” “All of them were native?” “Yes.” “Why does he go after natives? There are so many other cultures here, Van city is a melting pot.” “Because people don’t care if an Indigenous women goes missing or is murdered.” “Really? I doubt it’s just about race.” Diabo just looked straight ahead, trying not to snap at Dawes, Fred had killed 7 women and right now he was the only thing on Diabo’s mind.
 
“Let me share something with you Dawes, I attended residential schools when I was a kid, they took me from my parents when I was just 8 years old; sent me to a place called the mush hole.” “Why they call it that?” Interrupted Dawes. “Because you were never the same when came out, the priests weren’t exactly the best care givers.” Diabo paused, remembering the evil of that place, the things that were inflicted on his brothers and sisters, the days filled with pain and the nights flooded with tears. “My point is Dawes is that we were taught to hate ourselves, taught that we were dirty, savage and godless when in truth it was those who ran the schools that were the savages.” They stole our children, raped our culture, robbed us of our very souls, they did this for over one hundred years and while they were screwing us they were spreading the same message to their own children.
 
The created the racism that we are facing today. And Shelly like thousands of others like her are the result of that racism.” Dawes reached over and extended his hand. “Detective, I’m sorry you went through that I really am, let’s get this animal. For Shelly and all the others.” As he shook Dawes hand, he saw him in a whole new light, it was a refreshing feeling and one he’d hope would last. A few minutes later Fred would come around the corner and that’s when all hell broke loose.

7th Generation part 5

Diabo walked into the Carnegie the next morning, it was a huge building on the downtown east side. A community center, it had become a beacon for those in the area trying to get by. Shelly worked in the sexual assault center and the woman Brenda Fergie Ferguson was her boss.“ “Everybody is still in shock, Shelly was a remarkable woman with a huge heart.” I Need to ask you some additional questions. Was she having any problems with anyone, boyfriends, coworkers, regulars?” “No not at all, she loved her job and she was single as far as I know. The only thing she cared about was her job. Why would anyone do this, she was so young and bright and full of life, all she wanted to do was help her people?” Why? The answer stuck in Diabo’s throat, he knew why, it was a question many Indigenous families had been asking for years. “I don’t know but I am going to find out. Leads are slim right now but could you tell me when you last saw her, what was her mood?” “The night she disappeared, she headed out around 7pm, said she was going to grab some food and then head home.” “There’s an Asian place on Keefer St that she likes to go to, it’s a couple of blocks away.” “Thank you, here’s my card, if you think of anything please call day or night.

The next stop for Diabo was the Chinese dragon, the restaurant that Fergie mentioned. The place looked liked it was well kept and he noticed that there were cameras. As the hostess approached he flashed the badge. “Det. Thomas Diabo Vancouver PD, can I speak to the manager.” “I’m the manger Valery Cheung what can I do for you?” I’m here investigating a homicide, do you remember seeing this woman (Showing a picture of Shelly) coming in here a few nights ago Yes I do, she came in here a lot, loved the food. She’s dead, what happened!?” “We’re still investigating, do you know if she talked with anyone while she was in here.?” “It was really busy that night, but I do know that she stayed for a bit, picked up her order and left.” “ The cameras do they work ?” “Sure come to the back office, I can show you the recordings.” As they headed to the back office I could tell that Valery was visibly upset, it seemed that Shelly like many times before had left mark and that her presence would be missed.

As Valery took Diabo through the footage of two nights prior, he couldn’t help but think about Shelly’s last moments. An Indigenous woman who loved her job, loved helping people going about her day not knowing that it would end tragically. “There she is!” As Valery broke through his thoughts. There she was, on the screen like a ghost coming back to remind us that she was not to be forgotten. Everything on the screen seemed normal except for the man in the corner who was seated almost out the cameras range. “Who is that, do you know him?” “That’s Fred, he’s another regular, not very chatty.” Fred seemed to be looking intently at Shelly and sure enough he followed her out about a minute after she left. “Valery, has Fred ever been in here when Shelly was here, did he ever try and talk to her?” “Once, but she shot him down which was weird because he didn’t normally talk to anyone at all. She him told she wasn’t interested in getting involved with anyone and he seemed to back off.” “Does he come in here often?” “Yes, at least three times a week, as matter of fact he should be in here tomorrow night, he likes our Monday night specials.” Finally Diabo thought, a lead and in a few hours he could have a suspect in custody.