If you’ve read my previous post about abuse then this post will make more sense. I want people to know that when I wrote that blog I was dealing with constant anger, depression and anxiety, but most importantly I want people to know why I wrote it. See I am a perfect example of what happens to someone when abuse is left untreated, what it can do ones relationships, professional life and ones growth. (See previous post) During the holidays I had a lot of time to think; about what I was carrying and what I need to let go. There’s no question that I am a person who has been hurt and continues to be hurt because letting go of shit is hard. I’ve had conversations with my sister and some close friends and they all say the same thing, let it go…and they’re right. The only person who is hurting is me, my abusers; the narcissistic wastes of human filth have continued on with their lives like nothing happened meanwhile I am left to pick up the pieces.
Well; I’m not going to bother doing that. Those broken pieces represent who I used to be, I’m not that person anymore; let me rephrase I refuse to be that person anymore. My life has been wasted, waiting for justice that I will never see so why hang on to the pain and anguish. It no longer serves me. That’s what karma is for, and eventually in this life or the next my abusers will get what is coming to them; for what you do in this life will echo an eternity. So I make the following pledge, love will replace hatred, happiness will replace sadness and forgiveness will replace pain.
I want my abusers to know that I forgive them, I forgive them for the sexual abuse, the physical abuse, the bullying, I forgive them. I do this for me, I do this because I refuse to let the damage they did to me control me. I want them to know that they do not have any power over me anymore, that I choose to be happy rather than miserable, to accept love rather than hate. But most importantly I want my abusers to know that you may have wounded me, and left many scars but you didn’t beat me and you never will.
I also want to thank my abusers because thanks to them I now know who to watch out for and to avoid at all costs. I want to thank you for making me stronger and more aware of sick, insecure, narcissistic, people who do nothing but feed off society like a plague. I thank you for teaching me all that. I’m 45 now and I’m ready to begin a new chapter in my life, a life with zero drama and lots of love and happiness. I know that I have a great circle of friends and family who love and support me and who believe in me and that is all I really need.
The man you didn’t break